adventures of a non-binary little awesome trans*person in a binary world.
Anonymous asked: I sometimes think that I am a boy but Most of the time I want to be a no-gender person. Is that a thing?
I think the words you might be looking for are agender or neutrois. I don’t identify as either, so I want you to know that right away.
Agender is a lack of gender, or gender neutral. Neutrois is a term to describe agender folks who would rather exist without secondary sexual characteristics(breasts, facial hair, and genitals). People describe themselves as ftn or mtn - female/male-to-neutrois.
There is nothing wrong with having a shifting gender identity. Please don’t worry - you aren’t alone and you don’t have to figure all this out by yourself.
Let me know if you have more questions?
(EDIT) Additional information/correction:
Neutrois and agender are both genders, which people often think of as the same thing (or degrees of the same thing), but this is not necessarily true. Saying neutrois people would rather exist without these things may be true, just as women may rather exist with breasts or a higher voice, but it’s not necessarily a defining feature. Wanting breasts doesn’t automatically make one a woman, after all, and not all women care for breasts.
There’s no one strict definition for either identity (agender or neutrois), but neutrois makes more sense as being described as a neutral gender. Or, rather, that’s the closest English comes to it.
This is speaking as someone who has identified as agender (which I felt as a lack of gender), then agender-neutrois fluid, and now neutrois.
As I said before, please let us know if there are correction or clarifications that we can make - I went to the AVEN website for my original answer, thinking that it would be the ONE accurate place for such information, but apparently the info there is outdated/inaccurate. I never want to spread faulty facts, so please help correct us if we get off track. I apologize for initially spreading incorrect information.
I like discussion and explanations here around the definitions of agender and neutrois. Since I’ve seen both terms being used to describe a wide array of gender identities / bodies / presentations, there isn’t really one accurate definition yet.
The best rule to follow about labels is: if it fits you right now, then use it, until it doesn’t.
i feel like i should have gotten a certificate or medal for figuring out i was not a girl or a boy because seriously that sh’s hard, not everyone does it. nonbinary people are not very visible at all, i never even knew about them until i was twenty two. how do you figure out you are trans if you don’t even know that the gender you identify as exists? for the longest time i thought that being an extremely uncomfortable self hating girl was the only option available to me. and i knew i was supposed to turn into a woman at some point somehow but i wasn’t sure if i physically could. and that doesn’t even make sense.
people who have figured out they are nonbinary need trophies. trophies and hugs.
finding something that you don’t know exists IS really hard!
Letters for My Siblings: Call for Submissions
The Lambda Literary Finalist Letters for My Brothers asked transsexual men to pass on to their pre-transition selves any important advice that they had as post-transition men. In Letters for My Siblings, we wish to capture short pieces of a similar spirit from people who are non-binary, genderqueer, gender non-conforming, bigender, agender, or who simply don’t fit nicely into the boxes of “man” and “woman”.
Letters for My Siblings: Call for Submissions
Deadline: February 1, 2014
Word Limit: 2500
Publisher: Transgress Press
The Lambda Literary Finalist Letters for My Brothers asked transsexual men to pass on to their pre-transition selves any important advice that they had as post-transition men. In Letters for My Siblings, we wish to capture short pieces of a similar spirit from people who are genderqueer, gender non-conforming, bigender, agender, or who simply don’t fit nicely into the boxes of “man” and “woman”.
Your submission should be between 500 and 2500 words and address one or more of the prompts below.
Not all prompts will apply to all writers. Your submission should be about your own lived experience — please avoid delving too far into the theoretical, or making broad generalizations about any group (even one that you belong to).
Send all submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org by February 1, 2014. Authors will be notified of acceptance within six weeks of the submission deadline.
• What does it mean to transition as a non-binary identified person? How have you transitioned medically, legally, socially, or otherwise, and why? Has your transition been an important part of your identity and/or experience? How and why?
• Where do you fit in the larger trans* community? Have you found friendship and connection among other trans* people, binary or non-binary? Have you encountered discrimination or resistance to your identity within the trans* community?
• Have you been able to find or create language to describe your gender/experience? Are you intentional about using (or NOT using) particular words for your gender / experience? Why do you use (or not use) these?
• How has your non-binary identity intersected with other parts of your identity, such as your race, class, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, physical ability/disability, or age? Are there times when these other parts of your identity come in conflict with your gender? If so, how do you manage these conflicts?
• What do you like about being non-binary? What is your biggest frustration? How do you navigate a world set up only for men and women?
• Who are your mentors? Who has guided you on your journey / transition? Who do you look up to?
• What advice would you give to genderqueer/gender non-conforming/non-binary people who are at the beginning of their journey?
As compensation for their contribution, all authors will receive a free copy of the anthology upon its publication. Transgress Press will donate all proceeds to organizations benefiting trans communities (www.transgresspress.com/our-donations).
We look forward to hearing from you!
GenderQueerd is looking for submissions from gender non-conforming folks! Genderqueer folks, bi-gender folks, neutrois, genderfucks, androgynes, genderfluid folks, and non-binary folks from all walks of life!!
- photos (of yourselves, friends, art, events, etc.)
- videos (how-to guides, coming out stories, etc.)
- signal boosts (fundraisers, events, related blogs, etc.)
- resources (books, product reviews, films, quotes, etc.)