Hi, dearies. The queue is getting super low, and I’ve not found much to reblog lately. I’d love to see some more submissions. They can be photos or text or whatever you think ought to be shared with our community. Or ask some questions of me or of the general community.
You are amazing, and the rest of us would be better off being able to experience any part of you that you’d be willing to share.
Welcome home! I remember feeling the same way a few years ago. It’s nice knowing all this work and visibility is helping others.
I’m cis*, and I want to write a character whose gender is non-binary, but I’m afraid of fucking up. How do thing?
First off, thank you for being afraid of fucking up. That tells me that you have some empathy and awareness going on, and those will be helpful to you as you craft your character. If you’re not at least a little concerned that your portrayal may be harmful, you may not grok the possible ways that your words can hurt non-binary folks.
Wait, you want me to be afraid? That’s messed up.
I mean, we’re not talking, like, me wanting you to get the nervous shits, here. That would suck, and I don’t see how it would help anyone. I just want you to be aware that you are writing from a position of privilege: if you fuck up, it’s non-binary people who will pay the price.
Okay. Privilege: I has it. Now what?
Now you do some really fucking honest self-assessing. I’m gonna need you to check your ego at the door, ‘cause this part of the process—hell, let’s not pretend otherwise, this whole process—is not about you feeling good about yourself. It’s about you getting a three-dimensional, respectful portrayal of a non-binary character on the page. You should be more invested in avoiding problematic writing than you are in avoiding discomfort.
Stuff you may want to ask yourself:
Comprehensive points for how to write about a three-dimensional person, who has a non-binary gender. Also useful to consider when writing about a real, non-fictional person.