visit my fabulous blog neutrois.me.
adventures of a non-binary little awesome trans*person in a binary world.
adventures of a non-binary little awesome trans*person in a binary world.
Carnival of Aces: Not Interested
After carefully prodding several of these single people on the prowl, I have learned that one of their primary purposes on those nights out at the bar is to get laid. It’s not a myth people! As an asexual, I get that other people want to get laid, but I have many more gaps to fill in my study of humans to truly comprehend this. So much energy expelled in this fruitless pursuit! But I guess it must mean a lot to them, because they keep doing it. Some even as frequently as once or twice or more nights a week. Yep, they’ll chat up a girl in meaningless banter, the smallest small talk imaginable, even for just the slightest chance of achieving what they set out for. And the girl will pretend to be genuinely captivated, when the only thing they have in common is that one ultimate goal.
Now, I’m perfectly content on missing out on these kinds of relationships. So it does get kind of hard to justify why they’re any good, at all. If their only purpose is to get people laid, and I don’t particularly care for that, then it’s a win-win.
On the flip side, sometimes they do meet someone cool and interesting. And they get to meet lots of different people all the time. And they get to practice talking about the weather. A lot.
2013 Voice & Action Award: Top 10 Leaders in Action
Congrats to Sarah Beth Brooks, who works for promoting asexual visibility and education!
Asexy Sex
WOW. This article closely reflects my experience. Additionally, it contributes a positive critique of several matters (including the notion “sexual readiness” and “emotionally safe sex”) which I had never even considered. I am floored by the introduction of these concepts to my lexicon. I’d love to quote the entire article (therefore I’m reblogging instead) but if I have to choose, I’ll leave you with this salient paragraph:
My asexual truth is – I sometimes enjoy sex. I don’t see sexual pleasure, even with a partner, as contradicting to my asexual identification. I still don’t find people sexually attractive, but I do find my own ways of creating pleasurable intimacy with people I’m non-sexually attracted to, and that sometimes expresses itself with sex.
ASEXUALITY: THE PEOPLE'S CHOICE FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT ANYONE
“Who I am has been shaped by a struggle with a social norm around sexuality,” he said. “I find the word ‘queer’ to be really useful to understand the way I am. I don’t think anyone has the right to take that away from me.”
Once again, David Jay hits the sweet spot.
Asexuality and the Queer Community
I regard Jenni as queer because as an asexual person, her desires regarding sex and relationships don’t match up to the heteronormative ideals expected by our society. The desire to have a relationship that is romantic but non-sexual is not one which our society recognises as valid. As such, if she talks about her desires and experiences, she is likely to be met with disbelief, misunderstanding, or hostility. In other words, oppression. Part of the experience of being queer is that people don’t accept your identity, experiences, and desires. As I see it, the main reason for claiming the label queer and seeking queer communities is so that we can share our experiences of oppression and work together to combat it.
…
“Queer” is used to attack anyone whose gender or sexuality is not socially accepted, and as such can be reclaimed by anyone in that position.
Urban Profile: David Jay, Asexual – Sexless and Satisfied
Despite the fact that asexuals do not experience sexual desire, the human desire for partnership, relationships and human companionship is strong. While sex is of course only one part of meaningful relationship, in a world that views sex as an indispensable part of the relationship equation, asexuals are often left to conclude that if they don’t have sex, they cannot be in a relationship.
…
DJ himself is in a romantic relationship with another asexual person, or ace, for short. He says she is “asexy,” an adjective used to describe an asexual person showing intelligence, confidence, style, physical attractiveness and a charming personality. His eyes sparkle when he talks about her.
“She is really emotionally open and rich and caring. After we met, we realized we had found a dynamic that we are looking for in our lives and we wanted to explore it.”
It was the most intellectual way I had heard a woman described, and yet somehow so romantic.
Starbelly: If it's ok for people to have sex without love...
…why is it so wrong for people to want love without sex?
There’s awful stigmas surrounding people with no sexual desire: they are unaware, repressed, mean to everyone because “they aren’t getting any”, they are damaged because they don’t want to have sex.
Maybe it’s not for you, but that…
Reblogged from Animal Bruto
Youth Empowerment Summit
There will also be a workshop about Asexuality. I’ll be attending the conference, so if you see me say HI!
Hi everyone! If you’re in the Bay Area on Saturday, December 15th, I strongly encourage you to go to GSA Network’s Youth Empowerment Summit! YES is a free annual conference for LGBTQQAAI youth and allies who are dedicated to defeating homophobia and transphobia and creating safe, supportive schools for everyone.
TSER will be hosting a workshop at YES (Safe Schools for Trans Students) and we’d love to see you! Click here for a schedule! Go here for the Facebook event!
Reblogged from Art of Transliness
