visit my fabulous blog neutrois.me.
adventures of a non-binary little awesome trans*person in a binary world.
adventures of a non-binary little awesome trans*person in a binary world.
Mombian: Jennifer Lopez Developing TV Series About Lesbian Moms
Jennifer Lopez is developing a TV series for ABC Family about two lesbian moms,Deadlinereports. Will the hour-long drama give us an authentic (albeit fictionalized) portrayal of a lesbian-headed family? Will it stay away from tired clichés, like “the wacky search for sperm”? Will J.Lo sing and dance about baby strollers?
The answer to the first two is “it very well could.” Deadline tells us the show involves “a lesbian couple who suddenly have their already child heavy household turned upside down when a wayward teenage girl moves in. One of the mothers is a cop, the other is a private school teacher. They have one biological son and adopted teen twins, one a boy, the other a girl.”
Read the full article for an interesting tidbit on the history of the ABC Family channel…
Phew. No sperm-related antics. I also like that the show’s creators have chosen to depict a variety of family-creation methods.
Teen of Gay Dads — and Her Grandfather — Testify for Marriage Equality in NJ
A very heartfelt and emotional video.
Speaking Up For Same Sex Parents (in Texas)
ABC News’ “What Would You Do?” series recently set up a hidden camera scenario in a diner near Dallas, Texas, in which an actor pretending to be a homophobic waitress harassed two lesbian moms and their children, and then two gay dads and their children (all also played by actors).
When you think of your theology and us, remember: I can go get married tonight. To a drug dealer off the street. We can fly off to Las Vegas and make it legal. Legal does not = authentic. Yet we have something authentic and can’t make it legal?
Recap: Blogging for LGBT Families 2011
For the past few days I’ve been making my way through the interminable list at Mombian.com of all the posts and bloggers that contributed to the Blogging for LGBT families event. I submitted my post at the very last minute, and I’m very glad I did.
I will confess to you now that if I could engineer a happy accident, I would. I’d pop open a bottle of wine during a romantic dinner at home, and we’d get a little sloppy and a lot careless. But the reality of a same-sex couple is that there are no happy accidents. No amount of wishful thinking or candle light or alcohol can lead to a baby even at the height of fertility. I think back on all the conversations about birth control with my straight friends. “You’re so lucky, Deborah,” they’d tell me. “You don’t have to worry about the expense and hassle of birth control.” “True,” I replied, “but I don’t have sperm on tap.
The only solution I see, if I cannot live my life obvious (as I once did unthinkingly, without knowing how sweet I had it) — if I cannot not pass — is to come out again, and again, and again. Only now am I seeing the value of practices like National Coming Out Day, for if there is one thing I might claim to know better than my woman-partnered sisters, it is invisibility. I may pass for straight, be seen as a breeder and thereby shoved into a closet again and again every moment of my child’s life, but I don’t have to quietly stay there.
I am happily monogamous with a man. I have a child. And I am bisexual.
So, there was that exclusion [LGBT families were strictly forbidden as potential adoptive parents]. Pretty blatantly, too. For many people it is either insurmountable or requires a certain amount of lying to get around. There is no reason our family should be any more or less eligible to complete the adoption process internationally than any LGBT couple with the same, basic characteristics.
This was actually a hard process for me because I was unsure as to whether or not I wanted to adopt through a program that would not allow other couples to adopt for needless, closed minded, and irrelevant reasons
Earlier this year, Noah, Ash and I spent time talking with our legislators in person, writing them letters, calling (their staff often recognized my voice as soon as I called) to try and get marriage equality and gender identity protection legislation passed in our little state. When it didn’t we were heartbroken, but we came home to protections for our families, while yours still had to go without. I understand laws don’t change hearts, but I also understand how important it is to have them to protect your rights. To protect each other, your families, your children, yourselves.
In fact, I put forth that the true essence of family values is abundant in same sex families. So what really is family values?
Even though conservatives like to define family values as being a “promotion of traditional marriage” between a man and a woman, a 2008 survey found that the majority of Americans (thank goodness for changed thinking) define family values as “loving, taking care of, and supporting each other” and that “society should value all types of families.”
There’s an expression in the gay community that you don’t come out just once, you come out over and over again each time you meet someone new. I hadn’t thought until this week how that expression would also be true for my daughter until the night she burst into tears and told me how embarrassed she was that I was gay, and how afraid she was of having to tell new kids at a new school next year, how she was afraid she’d be teased for it, that when we go places as a family she wonders what other people are thinking. The rawness of her emotions slammed into me and I found myself grappling for an answer.
I took a deep breath and told her that the people who matter will accept her and her family and the people that don’t are not going to be the people that matter. That we don’t live our lives in secret as if we’re ashamed of who we are, and that by living honestly and openly we are taking away the opportunity for others to use our life as a weapon against us. I told her that sometimes I wonder what people think of our family too, but then I remember how awesome our family is and I remind myself that what other people think is their business.
LGBT people have children. We are family. We are Mums, Dads, Auntys, Uncles and Grandparents. How we perform these roles is dependent on our morals, our patience, our dedication and our responsibility, NOT on our gender or sexual identity. And to Senor Fernando Gómez (the Tourism alderman of Spanish Democratic Party of Blanes) who says “It is inconsistent to promote gay tourism along with family tourism and sporting events”, I’m sorry sir, but I have a family, I am an athlete and I am a pretty big fan of holidays. Now let’s get together and talk about inconsistency.
How do I explain something like this to my children? How do I explain that there are people who do not know their moms, but still do not like us? People who have never even met us—people who have not taken the time to get to know us—who think we are less worthy of basic human rights than they are. They believe in our “less-than” status enough to throw their money and their power and their venom into changing the constitution to make sure we remain second-class citizens. How do you explain this to an eight-year-old and two four-year-olds?
Queerious Questions
Blogging for LGBT Families Day
I read about the 6th Annual Blogging for LGBT Families Day yesterday, and promptly dismissed it since it seemed too late. Plus I don’t have a family, yet… do I? When realized I could still get my submission in today, bam! inspiration hit. Better late than never. Enjoy.
